I had a bodily presence. It was constantly changing, but some things stayed the same. My voice was deep, resonating, and still soft. I didn't speak much. Didn't need to. I did not belong to the people I was with, but I was still part of them. They respected me, feared me to some extend. Me and what I could do. But I was, even though I didn't belong, part of them - part of their lives, their culture, their faith. I was where I belonged, even though I did not belong to them.
My body was covered in orange silk-like fabric. I was hooded, and the fabric flowed around my body like a soft breeze that was caught and held in place. It seemed to change like my body did, but not as apparent. It didn't cover very much of my skin, but enough. My skin was dark and reflected the light, which made me seem to glow. Not quite black, but a dark brown. My appearance changed - sometimes, I was more feminine, sometimes more masculine, sometimes none of those. It changed from squishy or fat to skinny to muscular and back. My height changed, too. It wasn't static at all, and I lived in all these bodies simultaneously. I was change, embodied, and still there were constants always making me.. me.
I walked amidst them, but knew no fear. I knew it was dangerous. We were clashing with another group for quite some time and it was apparent that we were going to meet them - again. Clashing was upon us. I didn't know if there was a righteous cause or not. In the end, it doesn't matter - everybody always thinks it's righteous. Everyone has their reasons for doing things. I didn't know why I was here, with them, but I knew it was where I had to be. This was my place, and I walked with them.
I was the only one not carrying a weapon. The only one not covered in protective gear. It didn't matter, as I didn't need it.
When we came upon our first opponents, I felt that I wouldn't be able to do anything against them. I tried, nonetheless, but nothing happened. The people around me got scared by that, but I knew that it was as it should be. Those people weren't people anymore, and not within my reaches. My heart ached for them, but I couldn't help it. I saw them being cut to pieces, surreal, while who they were was already gone. I couldn't feel them. Maybe it was righteous, to fight on this side. Maybe those only came into being because of myself. Who knew?
When we continued our path, I felt cold stone beneath my feet. It was strangely reassuring. Everything was unfamiliar, but still.. not strange. There were monuments and effigies everywhere. One of those consisted of four people and caught my curiosity. We were nearly through when it began to move and they stepped forward. They changed when they moved, in a way that made me realize who they were. I didn't think, but reached for them.. way too far away to actually catch them, but still the closest of our group, as I stalled to look at it. I wasn't startled, even though I didn't know or even thought it could happen. I didn't need to think about what to do. I knew this was my nemesis and their bodyguards. I knew we fought a lot, always trying to get behind the other. Always taking something, losing something. Equal.
It was weird this time, as they didn't try to do anything. Three of them just stood there, while the other, my nemesis, reached for me. They tried to say something, but I didn't catch it, as around me, my people tried to fight against their fear and put themselves in reasonable positions around me.
I watched their skin and flesh stripping from their fingers, falling to dust. I watched it spreading up their arm, slowly wilting, then peeling away.
"No. Wait.. Please!"
I heard them this time, their bodyguards already piles of dust, slowly scattering in a breeze I hadn't felt before. They pulled something out and let it slide in my direction. I knew it, it was mine.. a black orb, golden cutouts in it, symbols, glowing. And stopped.
"You .. you need to take it back."
They were.. like me. But at the same time, they weren't. I could feel it. Something.. wrong about them. Something that wasn't them. No one moved to take the orb, as it was mine. I stood there, a moment, looking at them. And then, I just switched to another part of my powers and slowly moved up to them. I watched while their flesh and skin returned to their arm, all the while walking up to them. I watched while even more of me flowed through them, washing away all the things that weren't them. Knew that they thought they'd die, but also knew they wouldn't. When I reached them, they were stripped naked, shivering, and it was done. I put my arms around them, held them, and sank to the ground with them, my body big and strong, muscular. I held them, my voice resonating in their body while I spoke to them, way too low for anyone else to hear. I kissed their head, looked into their eyes and smiled. They weren't afraid, but I saw shame and them being sorry for everything that had happened. I held them until they ceased shivering, and then some more. I took their face in my hands and looked at them again, kissing their cheeks and their forehead. I didn't only feel their presence before me, but also inside me. Like a bond between us, shimmering, glowing. And I knew that they could see me now. The real me. The me beneath the ever-changing body. Who I was, not what I appeared to be. I saw the doubts and shame wash away, and stood, helping them stand, too.
I didn't want them to think they owed me anything. They didn't. There was nothing I would ever ask of them. Even less demand. So I said, "This is yours. This is your life, your body, your decisions. You may come, or go. You may change your mind. You may be unsure. But this is yours." I ran my thumb gently along their jawline, put my forehead against theirs, and then took a step back. Smiled at them. And turned to go, signaling the others to give them clothes. I felt their eyes upon me, and turned to bow my head to them, smiling softly. I knew it was too much - not only for them, but also for my people. This was some part of me they hadn't encountered yet, and they didn't know what to make of it, either. I picked up the orb, a nice weight in my hand, and it began changing again.
We moved on. And all the time, I could feel this bond, shimmering, between us. I hope it gave them as much hope and warmth as myself. And I hope to see them again, one day.
My body was covered in orange silk-like fabric. I was hooded, and the fabric flowed around my body like a soft breeze that was caught and held in place. It seemed to change like my body did, but not as apparent. It didn't cover very much of my skin, but enough. My skin was dark and reflected the light, which made me seem to glow. Not quite black, but a dark brown. My appearance changed - sometimes, I was more feminine, sometimes more masculine, sometimes none of those. It changed from squishy or fat to skinny to muscular and back. My height changed, too. It wasn't static at all, and I lived in all these bodies simultaneously. I was change, embodied, and still there were constants always making me.. me.
I walked amidst them, but knew no fear. I knew it was dangerous. We were clashing with another group for quite some time and it was apparent that we were going to meet them - again. Clashing was upon us. I didn't know if there was a righteous cause or not. In the end, it doesn't matter - everybody always thinks it's righteous. Everyone has their reasons for doing things. I didn't know why I was here, with them, but I knew it was where I had to be. This was my place, and I walked with them.
I was the only one not carrying a weapon. The only one not covered in protective gear. It didn't matter, as I didn't need it.
When we came upon our first opponents, I felt that I wouldn't be able to do anything against them. I tried, nonetheless, but nothing happened. The people around me got scared by that, but I knew that it was as it should be. Those people weren't people anymore, and not within my reaches. My heart ached for them, but I couldn't help it. I saw them being cut to pieces, surreal, while who they were was already gone. I couldn't feel them. Maybe it was righteous, to fight on this side. Maybe those only came into being because of myself. Who knew?
When we continued our path, I felt cold stone beneath my feet. It was strangely reassuring. Everything was unfamiliar, but still.. not strange. There were monuments and effigies everywhere. One of those consisted of four people and caught my curiosity. We were nearly through when it began to move and they stepped forward. They changed when they moved, in a way that made me realize who they were. I didn't think, but reached for them.. way too far away to actually catch them, but still the closest of our group, as I stalled to look at it. I wasn't startled, even though I didn't know or even thought it could happen. I didn't need to think about what to do. I knew this was my nemesis and their bodyguards. I knew we fought a lot, always trying to get behind the other. Always taking something, losing something. Equal.
It was weird this time, as they didn't try to do anything. Three of them just stood there, while the other, my nemesis, reached for me. They tried to say something, but I didn't catch it, as around me, my people tried to fight against their fear and put themselves in reasonable positions around me.
I watched their skin and flesh stripping from their fingers, falling to dust. I watched it spreading up their arm, slowly wilting, then peeling away.
"No. Wait.. Please!"
I heard them this time, their bodyguards already piles of dust, slowly scattering in a breeze I hadn't felt before. They pulled something out and let it slide in my direction. I knew it, it was mine.. a black orb, golden cutouts in it, symbols, glowing. And stopped.
"You .. you need to take it back."
They were.. like me. But at the same time, they weren't. I could feel it. Something.. wrong about them. Something that wasn't them. No one moved to take the orb, as it was mine. I stood there, a moment, looking at them. And then, I just switched to another part of my powers and slowly moved up to them. I watched while their flesh and skin returned to their arm, all the while walking up to them. I watched while even more of me flowed through them, washing away all the things that weren't them. Knew that they thought they'd die, but also knew they wouldn't. When I reached them, they were stripped naked, shivering, and it was done. I put my arms around them, held them, and sank to the ground with them, my body big and strong, muscular. I held them, my voice resonating in their body while I spoke to them, way too low for anyone else to hear. I kissed their head, looked into their eyes and smiled. They weren't afraid, but I saw shame and them being sorry for everything that had happened. I held them until they ceased shivering, and then some more. I took their face in my hands and looked at them again, kissing their cheeks and their forehead. I didn't only feel their presence before me, but also inside me. Like a bond between us, shimmering, glowing. And I knew that they could see me now. The real me. The me beneath the ever-changing body. Who I was, not what I appeared to be. I saw the doubts and shame wash away, and stood, helping them stand, too.
I didn't want them to think they owed me anything. They didn't. There was nothing I would ever ask of them. Even less demand. So I said, "This is yours. This is your life, your body, your decisions. You may come, or go. You may change your mind. You may be unsure. But this is yours." I ran my thumb gently along their jawline, put my forehead against theirs, and then took a step back. Smiled at them. And turned to go, signaling the others to give them clothes. I felt their eyes upon me, and turned to bow my head to them, smiling softly. I knew it was too much - not only for them, but also for my people. This was some part of me they hadn't encountered yet, and they didn't know what to make of it, either. I picked up the orb, a nice weight in my hand, and it began changing again.
We moved on. And all the time, I could feel this bond, shimmering, between us. I hope it gave them as much hope and warmth as myself. And I hope to see them again, one day.
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